We asked Chat GPT to roast Eastbourne … this is what it came up with …
“Eastbourne is basically what happens when a Victorian seaside resort gets stuck in a time loop and refuses to leave 1953. It’s where the average age is “waiting for a hip replacement,” and the town slogan should honestly be “Eastbourne: where time moves slower than the queue at the Sovereign Centre.”
The nightlife? Please. If you’re under 65 and want a good time, your best bet is hopping on a train to Brighton before the last one leaves—because heaven forbid Eastbourne stays awake past 10 PM. And don’t even get me started on the annual Airbourne show, where pensioners fight over deckchair spots just to watch the same planes they’ve seen for the last 20 years.
Oh, and let’s talk about the seafront. Sure, it’s pretty, but only if you like windburn as an accessory. The pier is charming in a “this might collapse at any moment” kind of way, and the shopping options are… well, let’s just say if you love charity shops and places selling mobility scooters, you’re in luck.
Honestly, Eastbourne is the perfect place for anyone who enjoys a slow pace of life, enjoys their fish and chips without seasoning, and finds mild excitement in the latest bus timetable updates. Iconic. “
Some of them are brutal – but don’t shoot the messenger.
We love living in Eastbourne, but some of these made us chuckle.
Looking for more things to do and eat in Eastbourne? You can check out the Eastbourne Lifestyle homepage here or read the latest issue of Eastbourne Lifestyle’s magazine here. Also, you can check us out on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.
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